People come and people go…..

Throughout our lifetime we meet a lot of people, some merely passing strangers, others friendly acquaintances. Some people we refer to as our friends, but what the term “friend” means is a very individual and personal matter to each and every one of us. I have recently been accused of being “friendless.” Perhaps this statement is true, but I must admit that I’d rather have no friends at all than be the kind of person that is so insecure that I collect people that add nothing positive to my life, and if given the opportunity affect my life negatively, just so that I can brag about having a large circle of friends. Maybe when I die it will be a lonely death with no circle of friends surrounding me, wailing at the thought of losing a great friend. On the other hand, maybe I will die alone secure in the knowledge that the few true friends I gather over my lifetime aren’t feigning grief while waiting to rummage through my belongings before my last dying breath even has a chance to leave my lips.

Over the past few days I have thought about the people that have come and gone out of my life and the people that still remain. Some of them merely slipped out of my life as our lives moved on and changed, some I still catch up with but not as often as I should, and then there are the ones that I gladly kicked the hell out of my life.

For me, a true friendship is based on honesty, mutual respect, and knowing when to just listen but not being afraid to speak up when necessary. A true friend lends a helping hand but knows when to expect me to work a problem out on my own. A true friend encourages me to be true to myself and care for myself. A true friend not only expects me to strive to grow and become a better person but knows that I expect the same from them. A true friend lets me cry and grieve but lets me know when it is time to let things go and get on with my life.

Many people have come and gone, very few of them do I miss. Does this make me selfish or friendless? I would like to think that friendship means much more than what can I get or they get from our relationship. True friends actually care, they aren’t in it for the benefits. So, I will admit that I have very few friends, by choice. Does that make me a bad person? Maybe. Or just maybe I’m particular about the people that I let into my life.

Please write to me and explain what your definition of friendship is. I am always open to other points of view.