Have I told you lately?

Do you really know how much I love you? I know I tell you every day but I hope my actions tell you as well. I hope you feel my love every time I touch you, I can’t keep my hands off of you, you are so beautiful to me. I hope you see and feel my love every time you look into my eyes.

Oh baby, thank you for making all of my dreams come true. Do you remember when we were just kids the countless hours we spent talking about how perfect our life together would be? I never thought our dreams would actually come true, but they have. I won’t apologize for the time we lost because the time away from each other made us who we are today, two people willing and able to accept and appreciate each other, flaws and all. We are finally capable and strong enough to stand on our own as individuals. We can agree to disagree when we have differing opinions. We can disagree without damaging each other, something we had trouble doing when we were just kids.  We are able to make plans for the future with the assurance that we’re both willing to follow through and contribute equally.

Thank you for being a true and trusted friend. I love you for listening to me and for remembering all of the little things I tell you. I love you for sharing your ideas, thoughts and feelings with me. I love the time we spend together catching up on the days events. I love you for being able to sit quietly together and understanding the connection we share through silence.

Thank you for the beautiful home we share. I have lived in many houses but for the first time in my life I feel at home. I love the fact that we have built this home together, all of us. I love the fact that Jesse and John have a home that they are proud of and enjoy bringing friends home with them. I love it when we suddenly have a house full of kids at dinner time because that means we have a home that is warm and comfortable and inviting.  I love it when your family drops in and appreciates the home we have built together. I love spending time together in a warm and secure home that is filled with things that we chose together, things that hold only memories of us.

Thank you for letting me be who I am. I love the fact that you understand and appreciate my sense of humor and you laugh at me even when I’m being silly. I love you for letting me be silly! I love you and thank you for understanding my different moods and allowing me time to myself when I need it. Thank you for knowing when and how to call bullshit.

Thank you for working so hard to take care of us. I love you for being able and willing to get up every morning and take on the world in order for all of us to have a comfortable life. I know that the work and the long hours can really wear you down but I thank you for taking it all in stride, for not complaining. I love that you are diligent about your schooling and I am so proud of your accomplishments. I love you for being willing to take on a new adventure that will take us clear around the world. I look forward to the opportunity to stand by your side and support you if and when things get tough in your new endeavor.

I love you for taking me on our rides together. Sitting behind you with my arms around you and my knees pressed against your beautiful strong thighs is something I look forward to all week long. I love that when we are out together on the bike it’s like being 16 again flying down the highway without a care in the world.

Thank you for giving me the chance to be a part of a warm and loving family. I love you for trusting me with what is the most precious to you, Jesse and John. I know it wasn’t easy at first for any of us and that I didn’t always handle things the way you would but I love the fact that we survived and that we are truly a family now. I love being called mom, I love cleaning and cooking and caring for all of you, I love helping with homework and going to football games. The first time the boys asked what we were having for family dinner night I felt so warm and accepted and loved. This is the family that we always dreamed of having. It is challenging on a very regular basis but there is never a dull moment, just as families should be. I know it’s not perfect but it’s about as close as it gets. Thank you, I love you.

I love you for being such a great dad. Every time I see you busy working on a project with the boys it warms my heart. You are so much like my dad, kind and caring and considerate. Strong and strict when you need to be but so patient and loving. They love you and adore you.

Thank you for the wonderful sex we experience. I love you for making me feel alive and beautiful and desired. I love the fact that you make me feel safe enough to be able to tell you and show you what I want and need. I love the fact that we can talk openly and honestly about our fantasies and desires. I love waking up and making love to you every morning and falling asleep every night after making love to you again. Never mind about the middle of the night sex, you know I can’t get enough of that either.

Have I told you lately that I love you? Have I told you there’s no one above you? You fill my heart with gladness, take away my sadness, ease my troubles that’s what you do.

I love you baby.

People come and people go…..

Throughout our lifetime we meet a lot of people, some merely passing strangers, others friendly acquaintances. Some people we refer to as our friends, but what the term “friend” means is a very individual and personal matter to each and every one of us. I have recently been accused of being “friendless.” Perhaps this statement is true, but I must admit that I’d rather have no friends at all than be the kind of person that is so insecure that I collect people that add nothing positive to my life, and if given the opportunity affect my life negatively, just so that I can brag about having a large circle of friends. Maybe when I die it will be a lonely death with no circle of friends surrounding me, wailing at the thought of losing a great friend. On the other hand, maybe I will die alone secure in the knowledge that the few true friends I gather over my lifetime aren’t feigning grief while waiting to rummage through my belongings before my last dying breath even has a chance to leave my lips.

Over the past few days I have thought about the people that have come and gone out of my life and the people that still remain. Some of them merely slipped out of my life as our lives moved on and changed, some I still catch up with but not as often as I should, and then there are the ones that I gladly kicked the hell out of my life.

For me, a true friendship is based on honesty, mutual respect, and knowing when to just listen but not being afraid to speak up when necessary. A true friend lends a helping hand but knows when to expect me to work a problem out on my own. A true friend encourages me to be true to myself and care for myself. A true friend not only expects me to strive to grow and become a better person but knows that I expect the same from them. A true friend lets me cry and grieve but lets me know when it is time to let things go and get on with my life.

Many people have come and gone, very few of them do I miss. Does this make me selfish or friendless? I would like to think that friendship means much more than what can I get or they get from our relationship. True friends actually care, they aren’t in it for the benefits. So, I will admit that I have very few friends, by choice. Does that make me a bad person? Maybe. Or just maybe I’m particular about the people that I let into my life.

Please write to me and explain what your definition of friendship is. I am always open to other points of view.