Have I told you lately?

Do you really know how much I love you? I know I tell you every day but I hope my actions tell you as well. I hope you feel my love every time I touch you, I can’t keep my hands off of you, you are so beautiful to me. I hope you see and feel my love every time you look into my eyes.

Oh baby, thank you for making all of my dreams come true. Do you remember when we were just kids the countless hours we spent talking about how perfect our life together would be? I never thought our dreams would actually come true, but they have. I won’t apologize for the time we lost because the time away from each other made us who we are today, two people willing and able to accept and appreciate each other, flaws and all. We are finally capable and strong enough to stand on our own as individuals. We can agree to disagree when we have differing opinions. We can disagree without damaging each other, something we had trouble doing when we were just kids.  We are able to make plans for the future with the assurance that we’re both willing to follow through and contribute equally.

Thank you for being a true and trusted friend. I love you for listening to me and for remembering all of the little things I tell you. I love you for sharing your ideas, thoughts and feelings with me. I love the time we spend together catching up on the days events. I love you for being able to sit quietly together and understanding the connection we share through silence.

Thank you for the beautiful home we share. I have lived in many houses but for the first time in my life I feel at home. I love the fact that we have built this home together, all of us. I love the fact that Jesse and John have a home that they are proud of and enjoy bringing friends home with them. I love it when we suddenly have a house full of kids at dinner time because that means we have a home that is warm and comfortable and inviting.  I love it when your family drops in and appreciates the home we have built together. I love spending time together in a warm and secure home that is filled with things that we chose together, things that hold only memories of us.

Thank you for letting me be who I am. I love the fact that you understand and appreciate my sense of humor and you laugh at me even when I’m being silly. I love you for letting me be silly! I love you and thank you for understanding my different moods and allowing me time to myself when I need it. Thank you for knowing when and how to call bullshit.

Thank you for working so hard to take care of us. I love you for being able and willing to get up every morning and take on the world in order for all of us to have a comfortable life. I know that the work and the long hours can really wear you down but I thank you for taking it all in stride, for not complaining. I love that you are diligent about your schooling and I am so proud of your accomplishments. I love you for being willing to take on a new adventure that will take us clear around the world. I look forward to the opportunity to stand by your side and support you if and when things get tough in your new endeavor.

I love you for taking me on our rides together. Sitting behind you with my arms around you and my knees pressed against your beautiful strong thighs is something I look forward to all week long. I love that when we are out together on the bike it’s like being 16 again flying down the highway without a care in the world.

Thank you for giving me the chance to be a part of a warm and loving family. I love you for trusting me with what is the most precious to you, Jesse and John. I know it wasn’t easy at first for any of us and that I didn’t always handle things the way you would but I love the fact that we survived and that we are truly a family now. I love being called mom, I love cleaning and cooking and caring for all of you, I love helping with homework and going to football games. The first time the boys asked what we were having for family dinner night I felt so warm and accepted and loved. This is the family that we always dreamed of having. It is challenging on a very regular basis but there is never a dull moment, just as families should be. I know it’s not perfect but it’s about as close as it gets. Thank you, I love you.

I love you for being such a great dad. Every time I see you busy working on a project with the boys it warms my heart. You are so much like my dad, kind and caring and considerate. Strong and strict when you need to be but so patient and loving. They love you and adore you.

Thank you for the wonderful sex we experience. I love you for making me feel alive and beautiful and desired. I love the fact that you make me feel safe enough to be able to tell you and show you what I want and need. I love the fact that we can talk openly and honestly about our fantasies and desires. I love waking up and making love to you every morning and falling asleep every night after making love to you again. Never mind about the middle of the night sex, you know I can’t get enough of that either.

Have I told you lately that I love you? Have I told you there’s no one above you? You fill my heart with gladness, take away my sadness, ease my troubles that’s what you do.

I love you baby.

The Icebreaker

As he looks deep into her eyes his fingertips move across her cheekbone then down the side of her face to her jaw. He moves his hand along her jaw, across her ear and then runs his fingertips through her thick auburn hair. Her head is spinning, reeling with emotion and excitement. As she struggles to quiet her mind she suddenly feels tears forming on the inside corners of her eyes. She bows her head in an attempt to hide her emotions from him, she doesn’t want him to see her crying. But he knows her all to well, he doesn’t have to see the tears to know exactly what is happening, her silence and body tells him all he needs to know. “Oh baby, I’m so sorry if I’ve upset you by telling you I love you but I couldn’t hold it in. Even after all these years the moment I saw you standing in the doorway all I could think of was how beautiful you are and how much I love you.” As he holds her face between his hands he gently kisses her forehead. She lifts her head and looks into the beautiful brown eyes smiling at her, he uses his thumbs to gently remove the tears slowly sliding down her face and then leans over and kisses away the new tears beginning to form. Again, her mind is screaming, “I love you too, I always have,” but she just can’t seem to find the courage to tell him. “I’m sorry, I don’t know why I’m crying, nervousness I guess,” she tells him as she tries her best to get her emotions back under control, ”I’m so glad you’re here, for a minute there I thought maybe you changed your mind and decided not to come.” As she sits next to him she tries to discreetly review him, she suddenly feels quite shy as if they were again young teenagers getting to know each other.  ”I was thinking the same thing as I sat here waiting but I’m so glad that we’re here together, finally,” he replies. They sit quietly for a moment looking each other over, the reality of the moment finally sinking in for both of them. “I hope you didn’t mind the change of plans, I know we had discussed meeting at your house but I thought it might be safer for both of us if we met somewhere in public. I must admit that even though we’ve spent a great deal of time talking over the past few months I’m still not quite sure what we’re doing or where we’re headed,” she explains. “We both know,” he replies, “that we couldn’t be sure exactly how we feel about each other, or our situation, until we were able to see each other and talk face to face. But I must admit that as soon as I saw you, as soon as you smiled at me and I was finally able to be close to you and touch you all of the doubt and uneasiness and fear disappeared, I have always loved you and I always will. If you don’t mind let’s continue this at that quiet little table over there in the corner where we can have some privacy.” As they gather up their belongings and order two more drinks the bartender asks, “so how long have you two been married?” “We’re not married, in fact this is the first time we’ve seen each other in over 25 years,” Jim explains. “Oh, I assumed by the electricity in the air and the way you two have been acting that you were either newlyweds or a couple that have been in love for a very long time,” the bartender responded. “Not newlyweds but yes we have been in love with each other for a very long time,” Jim responds.

As she steps down from the barstool he can’t help but watch as her thigh once again parts the hem of her dress revealing the beautiful legs that had been a cherished memory over the years. He follows her as they make their way from the bar to a small table in a dark and secluded corner. His mind is racing as he watches the beautiful green silk dress that clings to her body. He smiles as he remembers the look and feel of the body seductively moving in front of him. As he pulls her chair out from the table his free hand instinctively moves to the small of her back and he moves close enough to lean over and smell her hair. The feel of his strong hand against her back sends a tingle throughout her body, the hair on her arms suddenly raising with excitement and anticipation. As they sit together he takes both of her hands into his and gently massages her hands just as he had done when they were kids. Her mind couldn’t focus on what he was saying, she was lost in the feeling of his strong hands and how much comfort and safety and pleasure they had given her. “Oh baby, Lori, are you okay sweetheart?” “Oh, uh yes I’m fine I was just lost in thought for a second there, I’m sorry, “ Lori replied. As they sat together in the privacy of the corner neither of them were able to take their eyes off of the other nor could they help but smile as they looked deeply into each other eyes. “I’ve been such a nervous wreck over the past few days. I just can’t believe that we’re here together. I know we’ve been talking about this for a while now but I thought this day would never come, and to think that just a couple of months ago I just happened to open my e-mail and found a note that I’ve been waiting for and dreaming of for years, hello my name is Jim if you remember me please write back.” Neither of them could help but laugh at the thought that either of them could ever forget what they had shared and how much they had loved each other. “I regretted the wording as soon as I hit the send button but by then it was too late. You have to realize though that I had no idea what your situation was or where you were or how you would feel about hearing from me after all these years,” Jim explained, “the last time we talked we were both married and I had a brand new son but that was seventeen years ago.” “Well, I’m just glad you took the time to track me down or we wouldn’t be sitting here right now. So, after all the conversations we’ve had over the past few months I know we’ve agreed that we’d like to consider trying it again but there was one last obstacle to overcome, do we still find each other attractive, is the chemistry between us still there?” “Oh baby, I meant it when I told you how beautiful you are and I also meant it when I told you that I love you,” he replies. “But it’s been so long and we’re both older and softer and I’m so afraid that I can’t compete with the picture you have of me in your head. I need to know that you still find me attractive, that I still excite you, that you can’t wait to touch me and feel me against your body,” she explains. As she looks at him she searches for an answer. “You are the most beautiful creature I have ever known. The moment I saw you when we were just kids I fell in love with you. That was 33 years ago and I have never stopped loving you and I have never met another woman that took my breath away the way you do. You were the object of my dreams when I was just a teenage boy and you still are. I know you want me to tell you that I still see you as the beautiful young girl that I fell in love with but I can’t do that, I won’t do that.” She suddenly feels the blood rush to her cheeks and her legs begin to tremble as she tries to understand what she has just been told. Should she cry, should she respond in anger, or should she just get out of the room and away from him as quickly as her legs can carry her?

She takes a sip from the drink that suddenly doesn’t seem stronger enough to sooth her nerves. As her hand moves the glass to her lips he realizes that she is trembling, he notices the redness of her cheeks, the shallowness of her breaths. “Oh baby, to tell you that you look like the girl I found completely irresistable would be a lie and we promised to be completely honest with each other. To tell you that you haven’t changed over the past 25 years would be to ignore or overlook the way you’ve changed with time and maturity and as a result of the life you’ve lived and the lessons you’ve learned. But I will be completely honest with you and tell you that you are more beautiful at this very moment than you have ever been or ever were and I wouldn’t want to change one single thing about you. Your beauty isn’t just the way you look to me physically it’s also your intelligence, your wit, your sense of humor, your kind and generous nature. That’s what I see, all of you. That’s what makes you beautiful to me. I will admit though that when I watched you walking through the room towards me I was undressing you with my eyes and I’m not sure how I’ve managed to keep my hands to myself.” As he leans over to kiss her she whispers, “maybe we should finish our drinks and go to our rooms, it’s been a very long, emotional day for both of us.” “Rooms?” he asks. “I was hoping it would turn out this way,” she replies grinning wickedly “that’s why I got a suite, it shouldn’t be all that hard to open the sliding doors between our rooms. Why don’t I go up and get ready while you talk to room service about some nice refreshments and snacks, I have a feeling we’re going to be very hungry and very thirsty before the night is over.”  ”Okay, but promise you won’t remove one shoe, or one stocking, or one piece of clothing, I don’t want to miss a single thing. I want to remember every moment and every detail of tonight.” 

A Dress Rehearsal

Why did she ask me to meet her here? He gathered his luggage and walked outside to flag down a cab. As the cab chauffeured him to his destination his mind drifted. Where is she and what’s she up to? This isn’t exactly what we had planned when we talked about meeting but she asked me to trust her and I do. The car deposited him at his destination and he checked in at the front desk then made his way to his room just as her note had instructed.

Why was the clock moving so slowly. He made himself a drink, lit a cigarette and once again drifted off into his thoughts. Is she here? Does she know I’m here waiting? His heart was pounding, his breath became shallower with each passing thought. Calm down, he told himself, you’re acting like a love struck 16 year old. The thought brought a smile to his face, a sudden overwhelming warmth in his heart. Once again he glanced at the clock, eight o’clock, it’s time. As he made his way to the bar he glanced around wishing, hoping to see her waiting for her, for a moment angry that she wasn’t. She’s testing my patience he thought to himself. He could feel the excitement and anticipation of her arrival slowly filling the room.

He sat down at the bar, ordered two drinks and nervously lit a cigarette. He had chosen a place at the bar where he could see anyone approaching the entrance. More importantly it was dark and cozy and secluded. It was the perfect setting for the scene that was about to be played out. Slowly he sipped his drink half listening to the noise and conversation going on around him. His leg nervously jumping his heart barely beating. She’s not coming. She should be here by now, his mind screams. And then, she’s there, standing in the doorway. As she searches the room with her eye he sits there, motionless. He sees her eyes searching for his, for a moment her expression displays the fear she suddenly feels. Her heart stops, her body tenses, her mind races. He changed his mind, he’s not here. She could feel her legs trembling. Then, in an instant, she can feel his eyes upon her. His warm, dark eyes scanning her, reading her thoughts and emotions. The blood rushes to her cheeks, slowly she turns her gaze towards him reacting as if she were the shy young girl he had met so long ago. They remain quiet and still, their eyes speaking to each other, they both smile the same instant and uncontrollable smile. As she slowly moves towards him from across the room he watches her. Her face, the beautiful curves of her body, the movement of her hips. Closer and closer she moves. The details becoming clearer and clearer to him.

Her hair, how it curls around the edges of her face before it cascades over her shoulders. Her dark brown eyes, the moisture glistening on her lips. As his eyes slowly move further and further down her body he can feel his body tensing with excitement and yet he suddenly feels so serene and relaxed. His body tingling with the thought of finally reaching out and touching her. He absorbs every detail of her. The dark green color of the silk dress that moves with her body, the way it clings to her seductively and at the same time hides the secrets that lay beneath it. The buttons running suggestively up the front of it, her inner thighs teasing his eyes as her legs momentarily part the hem. His eye moves further down along the black silk stockings that enhance her legs, her feet slowly and deliberately moving towards him. He smiles as he realizes that the black  “come fuck me” stilettos were a discrete but deliberate promise of what the night would hold.

As she moves up next to him he can smell the scent of her. Not the perfume she wears but the scent that he remembers when thinking of the times they danced holding each other so close they could feel each others hearts, the hours they spent snuggled tightly together watching movies, the scent of her passion and desire. His skin tingled as she comes close enough to ignite the spark between their bodies, both of their bodies yearning to feel the touch of the other. They both look deeply into each other eyes, their smiles softening. As she lifts herself on to the stool beside him he can’t help but notice the beautiful flesh of her thigh as it peeks out from above her stocking when she crosses her legs. He wants to feel her, to touch her, to hold and kiss her. For a moment he’s afraid to touch her, he wants them both to remember this moment forever. Silently he looks deeply into her eyes, he leans over and softly whispers “I love you.” Very gently, tenderly he kisses her lips, the same tender, gentle kiss that stole her heart the very first time he kissed her.